June 11th, 2019
In my position as an admissions specialist for Drury University’s College of Graduate Studies, I extol the benefits of graduate education on a daily basis. Higher salaries, lower unemployment, greater opportunity, career advancement, etc. are all positive outcomes associated with advanced study. Any of these benefits, considered on their own, may easily justify the sacrifices necessary to complete a master’s degree. However, in the final analysis, the human connections made in grad school may be the most valuable.
I returned to work this morning after a weekend on a houseboat with nine graduate school friends. We served as graduate teaching assistants in the mid-90s. While I recover from 72 hours of all you can swim, eat, and drink I am reminded of the significance of these interpersonal relationships. Over the past two-plus decades we supported each other as we navigated careers, family, personal tragedy, and life in general.
In my professional and personal life, I have benefited greatly from recommendations, counsel, and support from my graduate school friends. When the opportunity presented itself, it felt wonderful to find myself in a position to reciprocate. Years ago, I was unhappy with my job and location. I reached out to a grad school friend and explained my situation. He recommended me for a position with his company. I got the job and he received a $3k recruitment bonus. A decade later I returned the favor.
The support is not limited to professional concerns. My grad school friends were there for me when my father died as well as helped me through my divorce and re-entry into the dating world. We have maintained our relationships through marriages/divorces, childbirths, adoptions, and soon the addition of our group’s first grandchild. It’s an amazing feeling to watch our children grow and become friends. I wouldn’t be surprised if our children’s friendships end up becoming closer than our own.
We may not hang out as much as we did in the past, but when we do we enjoy ourselves immensely. Over the past 23 summers, we have made a point to spend a weekend together, without the kids, relishing the outdoors and catching up with each other. We started as poor graduate students sleeping in tents and roasting hotdogs over a campfire. As the years progressed, and we moved forward in our careers, the hotdogs and tents evolved into gourmet meals and luxury cabins or houseboats. In fact, I suggested we go back to tents for our 25th summer weekend. I was immediately overruled. Sometimes you just can’t go back :-).
It is often overlooked or subordinated by other factors, but how well you get along with your professors and peers can be very important. Prospective graduate students evaluating potential programs and institutions should closely consider the culture of the college and the department they wish to enter. Here are a few important questions to ask: Are there alumni testimonials available for review? Will faculty members and/or current students meet with applicants before they are accepted? Is the application process handled by college/department employees or a third-party marketing firm?
Graduate school can be a long arduous undertaking. Choose wisely, as lifelong bonds of friendship between classmates and professors could be the most beneficial aspect of all.
Update: June 18, 2021
Photos from our 25th Annual Grad Friends trip (Note: we were all vaccinated and our trip occurred before Delta).
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